Brothers and sisters who were civil while their parents were alive can become very different people once there is an estate to divide. Old grievances come back: who was favoured, who looked after Mum, who was lent money for a house, who married someone the family disliked. Money is frequently the occasion for the dispute rather than its underlying cause.
The usual flashpoints
- One sibling is executor. They control the information, the timing and the sale of assets. The others feel shut out, and often they are.
- One sibling lives in, or uses, an estate asset. The family home, a holiday house, a car, or the business.
- Unequal shares. A will that favours sons over daughters, the child who stayed home, or the one who “needs it more”.
- Lifetime gifts. One sibling received a deposit for a house or school fees for their children, and the others want it counted.
- Delay. Where nothing progresses for a year, suspicion follows.
What the law offers
Beneficiaries are entitled to information about the estate. They can ask for a copy of the will, an inventory of assets and, in time, proper accounts. The Supreme Court can order an executor to file accounts, to get on with the administration or, in serious cases, to step aside for an independent administrator. Siblings who were left out or under-provided for may bring a family provision claim within six months of the grant in Victoria. A claim can be made later only with the court’s permission.
The law cannot repair family relationships. It can, however, prevent any one sibling from controlling, delaying or prejudicing the others.
What actually resolves these disputes
- Information early. Most sibling disputes are fed by not knowing. An executor who shares an inventory and a timetable in the first months addresses most of these concerns.
- An independent hand. A professional executor, co-executor or administrator takes control away from any one sibling.
- A structured negotiation or mediation, before positions harden and before legal costs become a reason to keep fighting.
Frequently asked questions
What can I do if my sibling, as executor, will not tell me anything about the estate?
Beneficiaries are entitled to information about the estate, including a copy of the will, an inventory of assets and, in time, proper accounts. Start with a written request. If the executor still does not cooperate, the Supreme Court can order them to file accounts, progress the administration or, in serious cases, step aside for an independent administrator.
How long do I have to contest a will in Victoria?
In Victoria, a family provision claim must generally be made within six months of the grant of probate or letters of administration. A later claim can be made only with the court’s permission, which is not automatic, so anyone considering a claim should get advice as early as possible.
Can a sibling be removed as executor?
In serious cases, yes. The Supreme Court can remove an executor who is not administering the estate properly, for example because of unreasonable delay, a conflict of interest or a failure to account, and appoint an independent administrator. It is a significant step, and the court looks closely at whether the estate can be properly administered with the executor in place.
How are sibling estate disputes usually resolved?
Most are resolved through early information, an independent hand and structured negotiation or mediation. An executor who shares an inventory and a timetable early removes much of the suspicion, and a professional executor or administrator takes control away from any one sibling. Mediation works best before positions harden and legal costs escalate.
Chua Tan Associates advises families, executors, trustees and their professional advisers on estate planning, estate administration and estate disputes, in Australia and across borders. To arrange a confidential consultation, please contact our Melbourne office on +61 3 9602 3988 or submit an enquiry. Advice is available in English, Mandarin and Cantonese.
Justin Chua (蔡智勋), lawyer and mediator, Chua Tan Associates, Melbourne. General information only, not legal advice. Victorian law unless stated otherwise.
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